02/05/2024 - Time and Space things

Today the record/vinyl market was in town again. I like to walk across it, not to really buy a lot, but sometimes you find some fun things. Like this time: an unknown record (couldn't find the songs/band on streaming) for €12,-. It was by a group called "Workshop" and for a second album very aptly titled "Welcome back to the Workshop". The sleeve picture did it for me, and the songs looked fun enough.
So I come home and put it on, and find some sheets of paper hidden in the sleeve (see below).

This has happened before, but only with cutouts of interviews or other articles about the artist in question. I have some old things on Kate Bush because of that. But with some sleuthing, I found out that this Michael still lives (if he is alive) in the town listed in the letter. I couldn't see if the exact street is still correct, but I decided to put this one in an envelop with a note and mail it to him anyway. The town is small enough and he seems a prominent enough figure that it may find its way to him otherwise.

We'll see how this goes! I'm already super happy to have find something like this.

P.S. A video of a recording session for this album.
There's no actual audio, but some beeps from the recording itself.

20/04/2024 - Who is this space for?

Primary reason for this little ramble is that I encountered a website that at first glance seemed cool (fun design, had a good comment on that whole f+f thing a few days ago) but turned out to be a radfem place... To say I was disappointed is an understatement, a deep-dive with friends revealed the muck that lay in the deeper crevices of this sites book reviews (big yikes!)
Maybe the true disappointment was felt at how "popular" this site seemed to be, if popularity is even a thing here. Nontheless, when browsing sites in the Last Updated section of Neocities, I am now a bit more wary of who I follow on first glance. Women of the Internet turned out to be a radfem nest, and those badges have passed by a number of times.

I don't know where exactly I'm going with this. Maybe that my site is definitely NOT for those folks. Not that I can fence this off and keep them out, exactly, but yeah. In general it seems a bit wild to me the lengths that some of these people go to defend their whole thing. Mostly by throwing around terms like "internet purity culture" and some variation of "warning: I post stuff that others find offensive but I don't care :p". Like...

Again, not entirely sure what the point of this is. Terfs are here, as they are everywhere. Thankfully their pride/ego makes it easy to spot them, as well as their tendency to be absolute tar pits.

This space is for me, and hopefully it can be a lil spot of respite for others.

21/03/2024 - Days spent at home

I have two days off from work in the week. I don't call it a weekend because it's not really that; I got one day off, work another, and then am free once again. It's alright, and it hasn't tired me out or anything (yet), but I can't really feel like I have time off sometimes, if you know what I mean?
Anyway, right now most of my Thursdays are spent sitting in my room the whole day. I do open the window, thank you very much, but there's not really anything I do outside unless it's Saturday. I want to change that, but it's gonna take a hot minutes for it to really become a habit, I think.

In somewhat related news: I am going to my parents again for a day soon. With my schedule being as it is I don't really have a lot of time to spend there. I like seeing my brother, though he sticks to his room most of the time. My mom has the habit of setting up something fun to do, and my dad is really a coin flip on that front. He's watched Breaking Bad recently, so we can talk about that.
But mostly I feel like I have to choose between that and visiting my grandparents for a cup of tea or something. We had a family dinner recently and it was one of those moments where I feel like I just don't connect to the other people there, except for my grandmother. Even my cousin can feel like someone I still don't have a connection to, despite all the things we share.

There's not another me in the world, which can certainly be explained as a good thing, but sometimes I wish I had someone in my life already to who I could tell all the things that I want to talk about, and not just have a person(s) for each of my facets.

07/03/2024 - Hello Hello

So this was first a placeholder, but what the hell, let's turn it into the real deal. I don't know exactly what the purpose of this page will be. Not exactly a daily journal thing -- I already got one of those with actual paper -- and it's not like post my deepest, most personal feelings and info online. Point is that sometimes I like the impression that I can put something out there without it being on a public social platform. The thing is that if you're here, and you're reading this, then you sought this website out and this page specifically, so you probably care somewhat about my rambling.

Also, funfact, I am somewhat of a lonely person. Not that I don't have friends. I do, and they're great, but anonimity is somewhat nice and also I've never really been someone who's felt comfortable sharing things with others. One thing about me that has always been true is that I am the most open and honest with total strangers. A very sensible explanation for this being that they have 0 judgement, and I most likely don't have to worry about ever seeing them again. Most of the time there is little reaction, but recently I have had some good moments at work with customers. An older man (2, actually now that I think about it) said he liked me but not in a creepy way, if you know what I mean. And I like that! I like being a mundane NPC who will stick with you because of the little things. I like my job, and at the moment I am content with my life as it is. The existential dread has been avoided for a while, and I hope that will last a bit longer.

On the other end of things is that I know I can do better in other places. Nothing major, mostly quality-life-improvements or becoming a better person (tm) in general. I have been reading a bit more, and have been able to voice my thoughts more coherently on some subjects. That's all very nice, but a bit weird to experience in your 20s. Part of me thinks that I'm lagging behind on others, and then I meet someone who could be considered "further behind", if that is ever an appropriate descriptor. I've concluded my studies and already had the plan to take some time to think about what I really want to do. Not that this is well-received everywhere, but so far I have the feeling that it is working. I'm having fun, I'm doing new things and re-discovering old passions, and, yeah, I love being here.

This is another project on that list. We'll see where it leads me.